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Entries for archive: 2008-12

Found 3 entries.

Dear Vodafone NZ, You suck. Yours Lovingly, Pie xox

That's actually all I want to write to Vodafone NZ but I should at least qualify it a little more, so I'll just fill in the details a bit more. Sorry, this is a long post.

Dear Vodafone NZ,

About a week or so ago, it got to the stage where my phone was starting to die. It's 4 years old, the battery is hardly working, the screen is cracked and the zero key doesn't work. This is okay with me since most numbers are in my address book and I can type a space via other means when composing a text message. But enough is enough, something had to be done. Especially because it was cutting off calls half-way through.

Six months ago, my brother in the UK gave me a phone of his which his network provider had just sent to him without him asking. Wow, I thought, that's nice. They do this every year in fact - not that he needs a new phone - but because they value him as a customer. As you know, there is a lot of competition in the UK for mobile phone providers so maybe that's why. This phone which I acquired, I finally decided to try and unlock so I could use it on your network. Unfortunately, the online website I tried to get an unlock code from, couldn't get one for me so they reimbursed my payment. Damn, I thought, I'll have to get a new one. But still, glad they refunded my money and all that within 24 hours. That's pretty good customer service.

Deciding that mobile phones are ubiquitous I procede to speak to your customer services to see if you can either give me a new phone (I do not want for much, just a cheap phone which makes calls and texts) or at least a discount on one which I can use in one of your stores. After all, I've been a customer of yours for 4 years and haven't received anything from you in that time apart from bills (which I duly pay).

Of course, I can't speak to anyone when I phone 777 from my mobile since I need to press 0 to speak with an operator and my zero key is b0rked. None of the other options would get me through to the right place. Instead, I try other combinations of keys so that your system can figure out I'm having trouble. Not much happens for a while. Finally I press something which takes me through to another number. It rings, the voice says "Thank you for phoning Vodafone yada yada, please hold while ..." - ring ring - "Thank you for phoning Vodafone. Goodbye". Thanks Vodafone, that's really helpful.

I decide to look online. I log into vodafone.co.nz. It has my address and home phone number from three houses ago. You send my bills to my current address (and have done to every address in between), so why are my details on the site wrong? Obviously your regular accounts are not linked through to your online accounts.

Please to be fixing. kthx.

Also, I can log in with my email address under which you know my phone number, so why can't I log in using my phone number too. I mean, right next to the login box it says I should be able to but I can't.

Please to be fixing that too. kthx.

I manage to log on. I want a new phone so I look around and see if I can get a discount. No, nothing. Ok, fair enough, I'll go to a shop and see if I can talk to someone and make it easier on myself. After all, this is a specific request, I can't expect the website to deal with everything.

So I head along to a store of yours. I tell them that I've been with you for four years and that I should be classed as a valued customer since my existing relationship with you is pretty good. Yes, I apologise for a couple of late bills in the 48 I have given you but you know, I'm on automatic payments now (and so you can stop sending me txts about my bill, I don't care, it just gets paid - please, to be fixing. kthx). And ok, I don't give you a huge amount of money, but it all adds up. "I'm sorry sir, we can only give discount on phones if you change plan to <insert extravagant unwanted plan here>, and probably only if you get an <insert expensive over-functioned phone> phone valued at over $299". So I realise that a Vodafone store isn't actually a Vodafone store, it's just a franchise with no powers whatsoever, just reading the text on the screen in front of them.

Please to be fixing to give them real powers. kthx.

Of course, I didn't actually want to change plan since all the new ones offer 'Anytime' minutes and in fact, I only want 'Off-Peak' minutes. I'm happy with my plan, I don't want to change. I told various people this in a couple of shops and I told them the reasons why too (because it has free 'Off-Peak' minutes). However, looking at the website again I notice that there is a plan called 'Base 20' which basically offers my 'Get 70' does for a tad cheaper and also includes my 'Off-Peak' minutes too. The website only seems to advertise the 'Anytime' but this was hidden away in some small details on a minor page of the site. Also, why didn't anyone I spoke to beforehand (both recently and a little while ago too) ever tell me about this plan when I'd described why I wanted to stay with my 'Get 70'? Hmmm.

Please to be fixing so your staff listen, understand and react. kthx.

So I head along to another store for another chat, you know, just because I wanted to find out more and to see if someone else can offer me help. I figure, if I can get a discount on a phone by changing plans, maybe I'll change to the new 'Base 20' plan I'd just seen. I tell them that I don't want to lock into a 24 month contract though because I've done that before ... I just want to change my plan, plain and simple. Oh, and I'd like a new phone too. "Oh HAI, I'd like to change my plan please, but I don't wanna sign a contract and I'd like to get some money off a new phone". "I'm sorry, you, can't change plans without signing a new 24 month contract and you don't get any discount on the 'Base 20' plan, only on the '<extortionate other>' plans". This was the culmination of speaking to two different people on two different days. I ask if they can put me through to the 'Vodafone Customer Services' so I can speak to them but they can't because they don't have a phone in the store!!!

Please to be fixing so stores can phone customer services. kthx.

I get an 0800 number off them since I tell them I can't use 777 from my mobile due to the broken '0' key, so I have to use my landline. I dread to imagine how disabled people who can work the mobile but not necessarily press individual keys actually speak to anyone at your Customer Service Centre since it seems determined to keep you in the automatic system. You know, sometimes I just wanna mash stuff on the keys to get me straight through to speak to someone instead of having to go through the whole menu structure. (Oh, and by the way some sub-menus only have one item, so please just make the one before it just go straight ahead and do it).

Please to be fixing all of this. kthx.

(Oh and BTW, please tell your staff in the Vodafone Shops to not give out your 0800 Customer services number, my phone number and my PIN(!) number to anyone who just walks in off the street and tells them that they are a valued customer with a particular phone number, it's called 'Social Engineering' - please look it up and to be fixing. kthx.)

Anyways, I finally speak to someone on the 0800 number. I tell them I've been with them for donkies years and that I'd like a new phone or a discount for being a loyal customer and I hope that our existing relationship means something to them. "I'm sorry, we can't give people discounts, only marketing decide who gets them" "Okay, can you put me through to marketing", "I'm sorry no, we can't put people through to marketing." "Okay, can I get someone in marketing to call me back." "I'm sorry, we can't do that." "Okay, can I speak to someone with some authority to actually do something about this." "I'm sorry, we ...." "Okay, can you do anything, anything at all." "No." "Okay, thanks." "Thanks for phoning, I hope you are satisfied with the answer." "Ummm..." "Anything else I can help you with today?" "No thanks. You've been wonderful. BAI."

I sit on it for a few days whilst Christmas happens. I decide that I'm gonna just go and buy a brand new phone anyways 'coz this is too much hassle. After all, I only want a basic model and it only costs $99 on your site. I mean, that's nothing to you retail but ho-hum, I guess I am testing them with the free phone idea. But heck, now that I've seen the 'Base 20' plan, I now want to change my contract over to that. That should be pretty easy even if I buy a new phone myself.

Christmas Day comes and goes. Good times were had by all.

I wait until after Christmas and head to Dickies to look at their phones. They have the same phone as I want for $10 cheaper than you can sell it to me, so's immediately 10% off. I buy a new phone. I've had it for a day and I'm really happy with it. It phones people, it does txt messages, the battery lasts a while and even the zero key works. Wow, the happiness you would have given me just by giving me a small discount would have been worth a thousand phone-calls to Customer Un-Services but no, that wasn't to happen. It would have been nice to have even got just $25 off from you guys but I decided I wasn't going to give you any money by now since you weren't worth the hassle. It had been so hard to get ... erm, nothing from you ... so I decide to buy one anyway. Even if you had given me a discount, you'd have still made money on the thing but ho-hum, I guess you don't really care about customer service since there is only one other mobile provider in NZ and that's only Telecom. You guys are really, really lucky - you know that right? At least admit it, that you know your customers would rather stick with you for all your deficiencies than go to Telecom. Shame the competition here isn't as good as in those other free markets since I think it would be a different story if it was.

So with my shiny new basic and cheap phone, I can actually phone up 777 and press the zero key to speak to someone. The only thing I want to do now is change my contract from a 'Get 70' to a 'Base 20'. I speak to a gentleman this morning. "I'd like to change my plan please, but I don't want to sign a new 24 month contract. Just a change, that's all, nothing more than that - I don't even need a new phone now since I gave up on that idea - just to be changing my plan." "Yes sir you can change your plan but you need to sign a new contract. You could try phoning up the Vodafone Online Store, they might be able to help you change without signing a new plan." "Sweet thanks. Bye." A revelation, someone who knows a little something - at least I thought he did anyway.

I phone up the online store. It's closed, which is okay, it is Saturday after all. But the menu says that for general account enquiries to phone Customer Services on 777. Riiiight.

I decide to log on and take another look around, after all, I just want to change plans now (heh, 'just') and I don't care about a phone discount anymore. But things don't seem right ... sometimes I wonder if I'm too optimistic in this world. I can 'purchase' a new plan but I can't actually change my plan. How am I to be sure that if I purchase a new one, even if I say "Use my current number", that you won't charge me twice. I decide not to proceed and instead phone Customer Un-Services back. Please note: the three options given to me when purchasing a new plan don't actually cover what I want so please add another option which does. (1) I do not want a new number, (2) I am not an existing Prepay customer, and (3) do not want to port my number from another provider. I (4) just want to change my plan for my existing On Account number.

Please to be fixing. kthx.

Oh, and please fix the fact that when purchasing a new plan - even without a phone - it wants a delivery address which has to be signed for, even though you won't actually be sending me anything.

So I phone Customer Un-Services back again, you know, because I have nothing else to do on my Saturday afternoon. My zero key is getting a lot of work since I think I have spoken to Customer Un-Services (with varying levels of quality) about 10 times in the past week or so. At least I remember my pin number now - even ignoring the written one your shop assistant so willingly gave me with no identification whatsoever!

I say again that I want to change my plan, don't want a contract and that the other dude told me to speak to the online shop which just points back here and that the online shop is kinda not helpful and that please, for the love of God, please help me regain some sanity and maybe even a microparticle's worth of confidence in your organisation. She says "Well, it depends, you can change but you have to take a '24 Month Plan', a '12 Month Plan' or an 'Open Plan' and you pay for what you ..., "Excuse me, did you say an Open Plan, as in, I can just switch?" "Yes, but you have to pay according to ... oh ... that's $18.95 per month too." "Oh, Jimmy Cricket!" I exclaim. No-one has mentioned that before. "Yes, but you have to go to a shop or speak to the Vodafone Online Store". OMGWTFBBQ, are you serious. Right, that's sorted then. "Thank you very much, you don't know what that means to me, you're my saviour etc etc."

So at first, I decided to wait until Monday but something got the better of me. I was determined to see if the shop could change my plan right there and then. I headed down to the local and wandered in. There were two people sitting behind the counter, both of whom I'd spoken to last week (I think I'm becoming friends with most of your staff since I seem to have spoken to most of them in relation to these issues). I explain the situation. I want to change plans and that there was such a thing as an 'Open Plan' (not that either of them told me this) on the 'Base 20'. "Oh, okay!". They looked at the screen but it wasn't immediately obvious. As they were looking, I told them I'd bought a new phone elsewhere since it was cheaper. No response but that's okay, they must be used to it.

It turns out that there is a special option selection when changing plans. Not on the immediate screen but on a sub-screen you can select '24 Month', '12 Month' or 'Open Plan'. Within seconds the lady filled in a form for me, I checked it over, signed it and she said it would be effective from midnight tonight!

At that point my knees went weak (and not just because of her blue eyes) and I almost felt like my mission was complete. I mean, what would I do with my life now? It all just seemed so easy! It was over in a trifle and I walked out of the shop feeling pretty empty. All that time, spent, wasted and yet, within seconds it was done.

I decided to take the next step on my journey of life by going to a well known worldwide coffee outlet called 'Starbucks' you know, just to celebrate my little victory (I know, but bear with me, this illustrates something related to this story).

I walked up to the counter and said "Could I have a Grande Signature Hot Chocolate please?" "Would you like whipped cream sir?" "Just a little and if I can get marshmallows on top (not in the drink, but physically on top) that'd be great." "No problem Sir." She already had a code for 'just a little whipped cream' (LWC) and wrote down in full about the marshmallows. We proceeded to have a chat about how that was a refreshing change compared to my previous mission. She described in detail that some people ask for things like "Decaf, Grande Latte, two shots, soy milk with hazelnut syrup and make it hot." After all, they do advertise that you get your drink whichever way you want it. It's amazing when you see customer service like that and you wonder why other companies *cough* Vodafone NZ *cough* can't learn a little something.

So please Vodafone, I want you to do two things from my long and arduous encounter with Customer Un-Services (just two things mind, the rest you can figure out yourself, after all, you have enough money).

Firstly, please make sure your staff, both at the shops and at your call centre, know about all your call plans and what the options are with all of them. This should be pretty easy since that's what you actually want from Customer Services in the first place, to better serve your customers.

Secondly, I want you to look after your existing customers. It's been a long and hard road to get my plan changed though at least I did manage to do that. But I still never suceeded in getting either a new phone or even a discount towards a new phone from you. As I said before, you're pretty lucky that this is a relatively small and not-too-competitive environment but that shouldn't stop you from making yourselves better than what you are: self-improvement is very important no matter who pushes you to do it whether that is your customers, your competitors or even yourselves! Don't be afraid to push yourselves to get better. That's how most companies succeed in the long term, by not resting on their laurels. Please do something so that we don't feel we have to use you as the default mobile provider in NZ but instead because you're the best choice.

You can't understand how close I was to quitting you completely. I mean, if I can do without a car and a TV, then I can certainly live without a mobile phone. Of course, you could make things all better by giving me a voucher or maybe even a redemption on my new phone - leave a comment - but in reality, I'm still hurting and am still shocked at how poor both your Customers Services and your dealings with existing customers are.

So Vodafone NZ, I hope you have a nice day and please, if there is anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to call. I can be reached on my mobile phone number, available 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week. In the interests of improving my services, I shall be recording all calls.

Yours lovingly,

Pie xox

Labels: vodafone-nz, customer-services, customer-satisfaction

Inserted: 2008-12-27 17:18 (1 year, 7 months ago)

What a Guy!

This week something magical happened and therefore there is someone we owe a great deal of thanks to. As is usual with open source it took one person a huge amount of effort to step up and complete something that needed to be done.

Two days ago, it was announced that the Perl 5 repository was being shifted to Git. After many hours, days and months wrangling with all of the numerous repositories that Perl 5 has used in the past, Sam Vilain managed to somehow mung it all into one coherent Git repo!

Earlier this year, I remember when he would speak to us in work when he was probably right in the middle of doing his various custom conversion tools. He'd be telling us about Git and how other version control systems were lacking in comparison. There was definitely a point whereby everyone would take the piss and note "Hey Sam, you talking about version control systems again?" It is obviously a subject near and dear to his heart.

I'm lucky though since I get to work with such clever and interesting people. Usually those who I consider a bit of a hero due to all of the work they have done, either in groups or individually and for such a good cause (in my opinion) too.

I get to speak to Sam quite regularly, sometimes Perl and sometimes whatever other random subject he's been looking into recently. He's even contributed to a a project of mine (cil) though wish I could say the help was reciprocal. Admittedly, I don't always understand what he's saying - not the words mind, just the sentences(!) - but that's okay, it's good to listen to someone who is a naturally free thinker.

I also found another link from the GitHub guys who also obviously took a liking to our Sam (describing his effort as a heroic one): A Perl Clone Appearing on GitHub.

Just as an interesting note, if I were to describe Sam and his Perl exploits in terms of the TV show Red Dwarf, he'd be a bit like the 'Ace' version of Arnold Rimmer from a parrallel universe. You know, the one where 'Ace' always says:

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!

to which the rest of the crew just mutter:

What a guy!

Sam, you're a good guy, well done and thanks for all your effort in porting the Perl 5 repo over to Git. Sometimes I feel both Perl and Git go hand in hand since they both have that powerful yet non-restrictive way about them.

And finally, to sign off ... if I were one of the Arnold Rimmers from a parallel universe, I'd be the classic Rimmer we all know and love. And his phrase would be quite apt at this very moment in time:

Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas.

Signing off for this year, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Labels: perl, git, planet-catalyst

Inserted: 2008-12-24 20:36 (1 year, 7 months ago)

Good Prices for CDs

I've wondered for quite a long time, but where is the best place in NZ to get good and reasonably priced CDs?

I'm almost bored to tears going into the following shops:

• The Warehouse - just stocks chart music
• The CD Store - since they're always overpriced
• Whitcoulls - not much selection

I should go to:

• Real Groovey - pretty good for 2nd hand but sometimes still more expensive than new in other shops

What I really need is an online retailer where I can browse from the comfort of my office chair, oh, er, I mean armchair and receive them in a day or so in the comfort of my house.

What do you recommend? Take into account that I need to be buying and supporting NZ music more than I do now but also that I won't be exclusively buying Kiwi made.

Labels: cds, new-zealand, music

Inserted: 2008-12-09 23:19 (1 year, 7 months ago)